1. "Hey, Sorry I just got your text"
What it really means: I got your text hours ago, I just wanted to pretend like I was busy.
2. “I want to show my friend my outfit, will you take my picture?”
What it really means: I want a new Instagram picture and I need you to take my picture so it's not a selfie.
3. “Sorry I missed your call, what’s up?”
What it really means: I denied your call because I didn't want to talk.
4. “I’m so tired, I barely slept last night!
What it really means: I slept eight hours last night, but saying that I'm well-rested doesn't sound as cool.
5. “I’m not that hungry"
What it really means: I'm actually starving.
6. “I’ll be there in five minutes.”
What it really means: I'll leave my house in five minutes.
7. “I’m on my way.”
What it actually means: I'm getting ready to walk out of my house but I'm still looking for my keys.
8. “I know what you mean"
What it really means: I don't know what you mean at all, but I need a conversation filler.
9. “I didn’t mean to unfollow you.
What it really means: I unfollowed you because your tweets were annoying but I didn't think you would notice.
10. “You look tired.
What it really means: You look like crap.
11. “I have read and agreed to the terms and conditions.”
What it really means: I kept scrolling until I found the "I accept" button.
12. “Just one more episode.”
What it really means: Several more episodes until my eyes can no longer focus on the screen.
13. “Lol.”
What it really means: I didn't laugh, but I felt awkward and didn't know what else to say.
14. “I just want a bite.”
What it really means: I want to eat the entire plate.
15. “I’m never drinking again.”
What it really means: I'll drink again when I'm not hungover.
16. “I don’t have any regrets.”
What it really means: I have a lot of regrets but I pretend to not care!
17. “I’m fine.”
What it really means: I'm hella PISSSSED.
18. “It’s too much to text.”
What it really means: I can easily text it, but I'm too busy watching Netflix.
19. “Who is this? I got a new phone, no numbers!”
What it really means: I deleted your number and haven't gotten a new phone in over a year.
